Farmyard Feminism

Let me just start this post by saying I love my husband and I am very happy that I am the mother of three boys.  If I had had a daughter, I would probably be that gross mother who made her wear matching Hanna Andersson outfits and read the "Twilight Saga" with me. Thanks to my boys, I know every Thomas the Tank Engine train ( I have a soft spot for the strong quiet Henry).  I can also tell you who the most dangerous Marvel Comics villain is: Magneto.  He has super intelligence, super durability AND super energy projection.

Let me also say that if the husband had just offed the damn chickens last week instead of waiting another two weeks,  I wouldn't have had to come up with a new topic for this week's post, but as I was mulling over ideas in my head I came up with this notion:  Females rule the farm.

Let's face it farming is all about the female animals. Chickens can lay eggs without a rooster; all you need is a syringe of bull semen to have a milking cow. I like having my strong man around but male farm animals are the first ones to end up on your dinner plate and with good reason. They are mean.

I am not sure why I am just coming to this conclusion now.  As a card carrying feminist I am ashamed to say that I think I was a little bit of a sexist when it came to my animals.  I felt bad for poor Kyle the Rooster when the hens didn't show him any respect.  Why?  What the hell does he do except spur them and lead them into the street?  Why did the chicken cross the road?  Because there was a dumb ass rooster making her go.  She was more than happy foraging around her own yard, she didn't need to risk her life for bugs on the other side of the street!

Noelle is perfectly happy with her female horse companion.  She doesn't seem to really need a bull humping her all the time.  Even my beloved Pepper is kind of prick when it comes to bossing poor Athena around.  In his defense, that may be his breed and not his gender.

The other day as I watched out the window, Kyle tried to spur Chicky Rivera. She went into full on attack mode and chased that little bastard all around the yard.  He is not allowed within 10 feet of her or the sunflower seeds without facing her wrath.   Barnyard female empowerment is a beautiful thing.  Move over Gloria Steinem and Betty Friedan; feminism has a new face and her name is Chicky Rivera.  I would fist bump her if she had fists.