Bad Neighbors

It seems we are now THAT family.  We're not the ones with the broken down cars and inflatable pools... yet. Though there would be an inflatable bouncy amusement park in the backyard if left up to me, the husband hates, "plastic crap."  He becomes incensed when he hears the crackling of shattering plastic when he mows over one of the water guns I secretly purchased at the Dollar Store.  There isn't much that really gets under his skin, like plastic toys.  I even had James Dean bring his father the BJ's flyer featuring a $700 inflatable pool/slide combo. The plan was to have James Dean tell him that I had just purchased it online and then  I was going to get all mad at James Dean for spilling the beans.   We rehearsed the scene a few times and it was pretty perfect.  Unfortunately, when show time came, James choked a bit and the husband didn't take the bait.

So, we are not the family with crap all over their yard, except for the scraps of the toy squirrel the dogs have ripped to shreds which causes me to gasp in horror every time I step on it thinking it is the remains of Baby Bunny. We are the family whose dogs bark maniacally at the geese in the pond at 6 am and whose rooster likes to go up the hill to the neighbors' house to cockadoodledo and poop on their deck.  We are also the neighbors who constantly have tractors running, the father doing chores in his underwear, children screaming  and young heifers roaming the neighborhood.


Friday evening the husband decided to take the boys to see the latest Iron Man movie.  I begged off claiming that we needed to save money or something.  I was going to curl up on the bed to watch "A Little Romance" and have a special mommy dinner: Shiraz.

I was pouring my wine when I heard Pepper barking.  Pepper barks at everything so normally this would not be a big deal but this was a strange bark.  I looked out the window and there was Noelle across the street eating the neighbor's forsythia bush.  I ran out the door and across the street to try and wrangle her back into the barn.  She didn't have her bridle on so I am not sure how I thought I was going to grab her.  I tried wrapping myself around her neck but she shook me off.  I tried herding her but she ran the other way.  I decided to run home and fill up the baby bottle to entice her back.  I dangled the bait in front of her and managed to get her all the way home before she sucked it dry.  A couple of may flies  managed to go up my nose and down my throat but I didn't drop the bottle until I had her shut in the barn.  Getting her into her stall would prove a little more difficult since her milk was all gone, but I finally managed to get her in.  I went in and fell asleep about half way through the movie.

I am not sure what it is about our animals that they are all so ill behaved. We have done a pretty good job so far raising three kids who are reasonably polite, well behaved and manage to stay out of trouble.   I am still on the fence about Scrappy Doo having a run-in with the law when he is older but that will probably be a white collar crime like embezzling money from his televanglism empire.

I think our problem may have something to do with how much we spoil our animals.  The livestock guardian dog has taken to guarding the "barn" kittens because neither the dog nor the cats will ever spend a night outside despite our best intentions.

The husband came in the house the other day with the rooster under his arm.  My inquisitive look was answered with, "I am showing him around."

Noelle wears a cashmere cardigan when it is cold and I am still trying to design a special hat to keep the bugs out of her eyes.

All of these crazy bad critters are part of the farmette family.  The husband would probably argue that he does not consider the dogs to be part of the family, but he does like how Pepper looks out for those kittens.

Thankfully the neighbors have been very understanding so far.  So here are a couple of videos of some of the spoiled critters that fill the popcorn bowl with lots of good memories: